"He's In Big Trouble!"

The year was 2005. My father-in-law had just lost his dog, and my mother-in-law gave us permission to give him a new one. A neighbor had just had some pure-bred Shih Tzu pups, and the timing was perfect to make one of those puppies the perfect Christmas gift.

The problem was that my in-laws wouldn’t be coming down to visit for Christmas for about three weeks, which meant that this brand new puppy , which our children dubbed “Sparky,” would be staying at our house for a while.

Don’t get me wrong - Sparky was pleasant, cheerful, and a lot of fun to have around. It’s just that he was completely unclear on the whole “housebroken” concept. Consequently, he was the source of plenty of early Christmas presents, if you know what I mean. One of those presents has earned an eternal place in our family history, because it ended up in my four-year-old son’s ear.

It’s not that Sparky pooped directly in his ear, you understand. It’s that he climbed onto the bed, pooped right next to my son’s head. Then, as if on cue, my son rolled over and, with a single event, found it harder to hear and easier to smell.

Or, in his words, “Sparky pooped in my ear. He’s in big trouble.”

I suppose we should be grateful. Those two statements greatly expanded my son’s vocabulary and began the process of getting him to speak in complete sentences. Five years later, he still gets a kick out of telling that story, and so do I.

Sparky, however, has no comment.