Dog Statues

Since time immemorial, dogs have provided a cost-effective security system by barking like mad whenever a stranger shows up. But Neiman Marcus has come up with an idea that allows you to have “Stoic hounds… ready to stand guard wherever you should need them” without actually providing any real benefit whatsoever.

Dog statues.

Yes, for only $395, plus $40 shipping and handling, you can have one of these weird-looking statues plopped outside your front door or hanging out on your lawn somewhere.



They have left-facing and right-facing statues, so you can get the set in the picture for just under a thousand bucks. Apparently, the statues are “not susceptible to mold, mildew, or other problems common to natural materials,” so that’s something, I guess.

If you really must have a dog statue, though, I would direct your attention to a much cheaper – and stranger – solution. For $29.99 at Amazon.com, you can get your very own plastic statue of a Pug dog pretending to pee on something.



Three customers have reviewed the statue and given it an average of five stars. “The statue looks so real,” raves Kathryn from Richmond, Virginia, “that when I took a photo and emailed it, my friends thought I had gotten a Pug!!” I think those friends thought a lot more than that, too, but they were too polite to say anything.

There are plenty more options available out there, but, for my money, real dogs are much more satisfying, even if they are susceptible to mold, mildew, or other problems common to natural materials. And they don’t just pretend to pee.